A little extra nothing this evening...

This just in from the Northampton County Animal Control Officer (although it was a little hard to make out as he gasped for breath after climbing my-albeit-steep front steps): "Today has just been a day full of incidents...someone said it was the moon." We can only assume he was referring to the stigma surrounding pets and the three days waning moon.
The capstone to this undoubtably overworked elderly man's day was a stop at- you guessed it- my house. I'm pretty confident in saying it will be his last stop for the night and I wouldn't be suprised if the lovely female officer who escorted him onto the premises was also responsible for putting the poor old fart to bed (stat!).
The old guy's health aside, the verdict was that regardless of the absolute dishonesty of my neighbor's claim that our dog was on his property, my mom is being cited for "dog at large" and "not having a proper lisence". The man's false claim inspired him to invite himself onto my front porch to bang on my door and yell that our dog was loose in his yard and furthermore recieve a greeting from said dog (who, clearly was actually in the house) in the form of a bite. Not a surprising reaction from a dog who is the sole guardian of my house and family- unless you count my 95 pound single mom...which might be wise- and who is certainly not used to having our front door stormed by angry men in the middle of the day. Stay tuned to find out if he has to go to the doctor for his dog bitten hand and I hope you enjoyed this incredibly bias news report and analysis of Bangor's law enforcement (so much more to come on this topic).

Food Fight!

Summer has officially dawned in the small town of Bangor, Pennsylvania- as well as in the rest of the world, not that many of the citizens of Bangor are aware of that fact. As of June 16, the Bangor School District has vomited it's usual finest out into the freedom and warmth of the summer sun. Drivers should be wary that they now need to reduce their speed to approximately 5 mph in order to avoid the new influx of hoodlum type activity which may range from darting into the street in persuit of a toy to deliberately walking down the middle of the street with a pet- or, in many instances, infant.
2010 is shaping up to be a summer of conflicts. Battle lines are already being drawn at Bangor Park and the showdown between the Bangor Pool Concession Stand and the Bangor Shack is creating a tension that can be felt all the way across the street at Turkey Hill- watch out, you're next you corporate gas station/convenience store demon! Turkey Hill should hope that by the time the conquering food lord rises from the ashes of war and wipes off their ketchup stained armor they will already be so weakened by the constant theviery they experience that they will be able to have a peaceful takeover.
Tension can also be heard in the once cheerful jingle of the ice cream truck as now a second ice cream truck has been added to the mix. So far it seems that both trucks are obeying some very clear, unwritten boundary pact, but it's only a matter of time until a wandering cone makes its way into unclaimed territory and who can predict what will happen then?
Two things are clear: one, the businesses of Bangor do not appreciate competition (maybe they're just not used to it) and two, we love us some junk food. Both of these stories will be carefully observed and reported on as events unfold, you can count on Nothing's Happening for all these small town dramz and more.