"Do you want a more perfect and more peaceful world?"
I looked up, blinking against the rain, to see who was adressing me so.
A woman was leaning out of a shiny black Escalade, trying simultaneously to hand me a tract and preserve her arm from what she must have taken for acid rain of the most dangerous sort.
The, now damp, pamphlet persumably held the secret meaning of life.
It sounds like a trick question though, "Do you want a more perfect and peaceful world?" but the look in her earnest face, the hunger in her eyes- For what? My acceptance of her paper and the message within? My soul?-told me that she was serious; as serious as a woman on a mission to save the planet and all the drowning humans aboard.
As I walked by, enjoying the feeling of each water droplet on my skin, my feet splashing through puddles, I wondered if god was going to stop the rain so that she could get out of the car and spread the good news. I hoped not.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
A cheap excuse for a post or Desperate times
Anyone who knows me personally is most likely aware that I am a proud expert at saving money. *Cough cheap *cough cough; I got it. I know the value of a dollar- I also know how cheesy that sounds, k thanks. Now that you're done mocking me, I thought you might benefit from some of my money saving tricks. The first step to being thrifty like me, is to recognize the difference between needs and wants, or, luxuries. Figure out what you need and then try not to spend money on anything else. Here are some of the things on my "needs" list, and how to fulfill them on the cheap.
Food: Get a job that feeds you, such as Subway Eat Fresh.
Coffee: Make it yourself and then carry it around in a hot liquids paper cup stolen from, or recycled (reused) from somewhere, such as Subway Eat Fresh or Sev.
Books/Movies: One word, LIBRARY. Use it or lose it.
Alcohol: Be a female, exploit said femininity and call it empowerment, drink for free. Don't judge, a lady never pays for the beer she consumes in a keg stand. This lady also never wears a skirt to parties.
"Shelter": The world is a cold, dark place, especially for people who like to keep their heating and electricity bills down. Grab a coat and scarf ( socks, glittens, hats, snuggies), eat some carrots, bundle up and get used to it.
As is so often the case, the words of the wise Ms. Tyra Banks come to mind. She is constantly spewing the advice that if they ask for money, it's likely a scam. Sure she may be talking about the modeling industry, but really, this can apply to anything. If it costs money, be suspicious. Did I mention the useful nature of free samples?
Food: Get a job that feeds you, such as Subway Eat Fresh.
Coffee: Make it yourself and then carry it around in a hot liquids paper cup stolen from, or recycled (reused) from somewhere, such as Subway Eat Fresh or Sev.
Books/Movies: One word, LIBRARY. Use it or lose it.
Alcohol: Be a female, exploit said femininity and call it empowerment, drink for free. Don't judge, a lady never pays for the beer she consumes in a keg stand. This lady also never wears a skirt to parties.
"Shelter": The world is a cold, dark place, especially for people who like to keep their heating and electricity bills down. Grab a coat and scarf ( socks, glittens, hats, snuggies), eat some carrots, bundle up and get used to it.
As is so often the case, the words of the wise Ms. Tyra Banks come to mind. She is constantly spewing the advice that if they ask for money, it's likely a scam. Sure she may be talking about the modeling industry, but really, this can apply to anything. If it costs money, be suspicious. Did I mention the useful nature of free samples?
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Coffee, coffee, coffee (it's an expression)
Well, I'm not going to admit to slacking off on you guys. Why, you ask, would I be so bold as to not only not apologize, but present an anti-apology? Because I am always right and also because I am about to try and play it off like I was compiling research this whole time and therefore couldn't post until I had some worthwhile information to share.
For the past few weeks I have been collecting data on the very important topic of local coffee spots. Those of you in the Temple University area are likely familiar with all of the many options presented daily on the coffee front. Between the food trucks, the huts, the Anderson food strip, the SAC and other campus offerings (*cough Einstein monopoly), it is difficult to find that perfect cup without doing some serious sipping. Luckily, you have me, and here are my notes from the week:
Monday: Ali's
To be fair, Ali's has become my regular Monday/Wednesday/Friday jolt, so I may be a little bias, but I will stand by my assertion that Ali makes a good cup of coffee. He is also by far the friendliest of the coffee providers and between his smile and the $1 cup, you're morning will definitely begin on the right foot. He also knows my order and I might enjoy his usual quip of "Extra sweet for extra sweetheart," but who doesn't love a man (of any age) with an accent?
Tuesday: Tommy's food truck (located outside Tomlinson theater by Peabody Hall)
As loyal as my heart is to Ali, so far this is the best cup of coffee I've sampled. It was super strong and nutty but in that good bold way. The woman was neutral, but at least she smiled and accepted my dollar coin without comment (c'mon, SEPTA, duh).
Wednesday: Saxby's (aka my first day cheating on Ali)
All I have to say about Saxby's is OVERPRICED. Seriously, get a life.
Thursday: The Bagel Hut
Again, I may be bias here because I wrote an article about The Bagel Hut freshman year and the owner was extremely helpful and kind. However, anyone who has ever been to The Bagel Hut could tell you that the owner is extremely helpful and kind. Her sunny demeanor is a big draw for many of their loyal customers- that is, when she's serving food and not chain smoking in the back; we all have our vices. The coffee was good, but I was not entirely convinced they took my "Extra cream" request to heart. I do see a lot of people with their cups though, so clearly they are popular; perhaps too popular as the line is always ridiculously long.
Friday: The hut outside the library
For the past few weeks I have been collecting data on the very important topic of local coffee spots. Those of you in the Temple University area are likely familiar with all of the many options presented daily on the coffee front. Between the food trucks, the huts, the Anderson food strip, the SAC and other campus offerings (*cough Einstein monopoly), it is difficult to find that perfect cup without doing some serious sipping. Luckily, you have me, and here are my notes from the week:
Monday: Ali's
To be fair, Ali's has become my regular Monday/Wednesday/Friday jolt, so I may be a little bias, but I will stand by my assertion that Ali makes a good cup of coffee. He is also by far the friendliest of the coffee providers and between his smile and the $1 cup, you're morning will definitely begin on the right foot. He also knows my order and I might enjoy his usual quip of "Extra sweet for extra sweetheart," but who doesn't love a man (of any age) with an accent?
Tuesday: Tommy's food truck (located outside Tomlinson theater by Peabody Hall)
As loyal as my heart is to Ali, so far this is the best cup of coffee I've sampled. It was super strong and nutty but in that good bold way. The woman was neutral, but at least she smiled and accepted my dollar coin without comment (c'mon, SEPTA, duh).
Wednesday: Saxby's (aka my first day cheating on Ali)
All I have to say about Saxby's is OVERPRICED. Seriously, get a life.
Thursday: The Bagel Hut
Again, I may be bias here because I wrote an article about The Bagel Hut freshman year and the owner was extremely helpful and kind. However, anyone who has ever been to The Bagel Hut could tell you that the owner is extremely helpful and kind. Her sunny demeanor is a big draw for many of their loyal customers- that is, when she's serving food and not chain smoking in the back; we all have our vices. The coffee was good, but I was not entirely convinced they took my "Extra cream" request to heart. I do see a lot of people with their cups though, so clearly they are popular; perhaps too popular as the line is always ridiculously long.
Friday: The hut outside the library
This coffee came highly recommended by a fellow coffee conosiour- word for addicts who want to sound fancy- Namarata, a Subway coworker. I will say this, the coffee was good and EXTREMELY HOT. However, the service totally blew it for me. The couple who owns the stand wouldn't know a smile if it smacked them in the face. Namarata was willing to forgive them this on the basis that they are European, but I am less merciful. Every one of these and basically all of the food joints around here are owned and operated by someone foreign and it doesn't take a lot to learn, "Have a nice day." If you don't mind unfriendly people at 8 am, enjoy their brew (cautiously), but for me, their service was a total buzz kill.
I also feel that I should give 7-11 a shout out. As a poor college student, I utilize their 99 cent after noon special at least once a day. I myself enjoy being able to add the cream and sugar to my own taste. I also think they have good coffee and appreciate their location right next to Subway.
Stay tuned for more...hopefully...bah, just stay tuned!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Come back when you can
As I passed a guy on the street he said, "Hey there, Supermodel."
I thought he was talking to me until I heard a voice behind me say, "Thanks."
I looked over my shoulder to scope my compliment competition and saw a middle aged black woman with purple streaks in her graying hair. Her plussed grin revealed a few missing teeth and she was wearing black and white checkered tights.
Half a block later a guy said, "Hey, how are you."
I said, "I'm fine, thanks."
And he said, "You just made my day."
The world makes sense again.
I thought he was talking to me until I heard a voice behind me say, "Thanks."
I looked over my shoulder to scope my compliment competition and saw a middle aged black woman with purple streaks in her graying hair. Her plussed grin revealed a few missing teeth and she was wearing black and white checkered tights.
Half a block later a guy said, "Hey, how are you."
I said, "I'm fine, thanks."
And he said, "You just made my day."
The world makes sense again.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Mad besties (revised)
If when I look for friends,
I find trouble,
does the opposite hold true?
If I look for trouble,
will I find you?
I find trouble,
does the opposite hold true?
If I look for trouble,
will I find you?
Friday, October 8, 2010
Would you like fries with that?
The old saying goes, "There's no such thing as a stupid question." While I agree with this message for the most part, there is a limit to the number of times I can graciously respond to the same stupid questions in the kingdom of Subway Eat Fresh. Here are some of the questions that I'm talking about:
Customer- How big is the footlong?
What I say- 12 inches, or I show them the roll
What I want to say- See my thumb? Gee you're dumb
Me- Would you like to add a drink to make that a meal?
Customer- Is it cheaper?
What I say- No, it's not numerically cheaper, but if you want a drink, it's a better deal to get the meal.
What I want to say- Oh yeah, Einstein, that's how commerce works, the more of our products you buy the less we charge you. If you're really smart, maybe you can just keep purchasing things until the whole meal is free.
Customer- Are all the footlongs five dollars?
What I say- No, we now offer select footlongs for five dollars, which are shown on this menu here (points genially).
What I want to say- Can you read? If not, I'd be happy to answer this question, if so however, stop being so lazy and use your eyes.
This also goes for "Do yout take diamond dollars?" to which I want to say, "Did you come in through the door? Because there's a sign at eye level saying we do. Use them eyes your momma gave you."
Me- Would you like Banana peppers or jalepenos?
Customer- Are they the same thing?
What I say- No, the banana peppers here (points helpfully) are milder than the jalepenos, which are over here (points again, how accomodating)
What I want to say- Yeah, they are
Customer- Do you take access cards
What I say- Sorry, we don't actually
What I want to say- Seriously?
This next one may seem too stupid to believe, but I swear on the sanctity of this blog that it is a true story...
Customer- (painfully flirting whole way through line and reaches end)
Me- Would you like anything else?
What I want to say- Would you like anything else, perv?
Customer- Your name
Me- What? (nervous laughter)
Customer- What time do you get off work?
Me- I'm here till closing
What I want to say- None of your business, Creep
Customer- What are you doing after work?
Me- I don't know, I have plans with some friends for later.
What I want to say- Go away please
Customer- Well, maybe I can buy you a sandwich sometime
Me/What I want to say (c'mon, I held it together for a long time here)- Are you seriously offering to buy me a sandwich? You're trying to take me on a date to Subway? You realize I work here, right? Get real.
There are so many more, but I'm blanking at the moment. This lack of brain power can only be attributed to one thing: a Friday night closing shift.
Customer- How big is the footlong?
What I say- 12 inches, or I show them the roll
What I want to say- See my thumb? Gee you're dumb
Me- Would you like to add a drink to make that a meal?
Customer- Is it cheaper?
What I say- No, it's not numerically cheaper, but if you want a drink, it's a better deal to get the meal.
What I want to say- Oh yeah, Einstein, that's how commerce works, the more of our products you buy the less we charge you. If you're really smart, maybe you can just keep purchasing things until the whole meal is free.
Customer- Are all the footlongs five dollars?
What I say- No, we now offer select footlongs for five dollars, which are shown on this menu here (points genially).
What I want to say- Can you read? If not, I'd be happy to answer this question, if so however, stop being so lazy and use your eyes.
This also goes for "Do yout take diamond dollars?" to which I want to say, "Did you come in through the door? Because there's a sign at eye level saying we do. Use them eyes your momma gave you."
Me- Would you like Banana peppers or jalepenos?
Customer- Are they the same thing?
What I say- No, the banana peppers here (points helpfully) are milder than the jalepenos, which are over here (points again, how accomodating)
What I want to say- Yeah, they are
Customer- Do you take access cards
What I say- Sorry, we don't actually
What I want to say- Seriously?
This next one may seem too stupid to believe, but I swear on the sanctity of this blog that it is a true story...
Customer- (painfully flirting whole way through line and reaches end)
Me- Would you like anything else?
What I want to say- Would you like anything else, perv?
Customer- Your name
Me- What? (nervous laughter)
Customer- What time do you get off work?
Me- I'm here till closing
What I want to say- None of your business, Creep
Customer- What are you doing after work?
Me- I don't know, I have plans with some friends for later.
What I want to say- Go away please
Customer- Well, maybe I can buy you a sandwich sometime
Me/What I want to say (c'mon, I held it together for a long time here)- Are you seriously offering to buy me a sandwich? You're trying to take me on a date to Subway? You realize I work here, right? Get real.
There are so many more, but I'm blanking at the moment. This lack of brain power can only be attributed to one thing: a Friday night closing shift.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Just Keep Smiling
Stargazing. Being greeted by dogs. Getting a just the right phone call from just the right person at just the right time. When you realize you're reading someone's mind, or they're reading yours. Inside jokes. When someone quotes something that you love. When someone recognizes a quote you use. An extraordinary cup of coffee. A compliment. Physical contact. Being reminded that you are loved. Getting a present. The Marx Brothers. A great voice. Being recognized. Mattering to someone. Doing something nice for someone else. Feeling like someone is taking care of you. Getting mail. Sending mail. Finding something you lost, or thought you lost. Warmth. Seeing people who are really in love. Remembering. Sleeping, finally making it to bed after a long day. Feeling accepted and loved by anyone, anywhere. Looking at pictures. Being appreciated. A hug. Hearing a song that brings back happy memories. When a smell reminds you of something, or someone. Knowing just what to do for someone to lighten their load. Realizing that your family is important. Looking at the big picture. Having someone say they'll always be there and then they always are. Flowers. Undying love that overwhelms. Being young. Being alive.
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